Support when you have pain

• Why you might need support
• Depression
• Talking about pain
• Psychological and practical help

Getting medical help for your pain is very important as cancer pain can be well controlled for most people. The best thing you can do is let your doctors and nurses know you are in pain. They are there to help you and can help you to be pain free. Do talk to them and let them know exactly how you feel. This will help them to plan the best pain management for you.

You can also benefit from emotional and psychological support. Having very strong emotions about your pain is normal and to be expected. You may feel

• Angry that you have to suffer or that your family is seeing you in pain
• That you want to be left alone to deal with your own pain - how can anyone else know how bad this feels?
• Anxious that the pain may never go away or that you will never be able to do everyday things again without being in pain
• Depressed
• Hopeless
• Frightened that your pain means your cancer is growing and this means that you might die

There is no right or wrong way to feel. These feelings are part of a process many people with cancer pain go through. Most people will have some of these feelings. Once your pain has been relieved, many of these feelings may disappear. You may be able to eat and sleep better and enjoy hobbies, or spending time with friends and family, again.

Depression is common in people who have pain. It is also quite common for people with cancer to feel depressed. If you are depressed you may feel hopelessness and that you don't want to do anything. You may not be able to sleep or not want to get up in the morning. You may have no appetite. In extreme cases you can feel suicidal. Your pain may feel so bad that you feel it is not worth living any more.

Your pain will feel worse if you are depressed because chemicals produced by the body when you are depressed also worsen pain. Depression is an illness that can cause chemical and physical changes in the body. If you think that you are depressed, let your doctor know so that you can get help and treatment. He or she may suggest that you see a doctor trained in treating depression. There is more information about ways of treating depression in this section of CancerHelp UK.

Being able to talk about your pain with loved ones may help you all. Some people find it difficult to talk about these things. You may be frightened that your family won’t cope with hearing how you are really feeling. Or worried that they will be frightened by how bad your pain makes you feel. Sharing worries almost always helps. Sometimes it is enough just to have your family listen to you. They don't need to give advice. Just knowing they are there to share things can help you to deal with your pain.

You may have a specialist palliative care nurse you can talk to. These nurses are trained in cancer and pain care and will be able to offer some good advice. If you are in a hospice, there may be counsellors that you can talk to. Your GP may be another good source of help and support.

If you have chronic pain, it can really help to see a doctor trained in psychological medicine. This may be a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Don't feel your doctor thinks you are mad or 'crazy' if they suggest this to you. It is not unusual for people with cancer or chronic pain to see these specialists. They may help you feel more in control of the situation and better able to cope. A psychiatrist may prescribe some antidepressants for you. Again don't feel worried that this is a sign that you are weak or crazy. Antidepressants can stop the body making chemicals that increase pain. Antidepressants can also directly treat nerve pain.

You may want to talk to someone who will listen to your worries, but who is not involved in your daily care. The cancer information services listed on our general cancer organisations page can tell you more about

• Counselling
• The services available in your area
• Cancer support groups

Some people may feel more comfortable speaking to a religious adviser, such as a hospital chaplain or a leader in their own faith. Hospital social workers can be a big support in helping you sort out worrying practical issues - financial problems or getting help at home.

The main thing is that you don't feel alone. Even if you don't have close family and friends around to help you, other people can help. Let your nurse or doctor know if you need support.